“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before–more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
When your vision clears and your heart opens after a major upset in your life as i found in mine a few years back and with the passing last year of my mother you will discover you are living in a constant process of beginnings and endings.
Your child leaves home ,your marriage may begin and end,your home is sold ,a new career begins,your work ends in retirement . You find yourself almost a stranger in a strange land. For me i set out to discover a peace. It has proved elusive for a long time but then it came to me this peace in a realization.
In the beginning of my journey i climbed a mountain in Sedona in Arizona and that was the time when for a moment the egg that i had been living in cracked to reveal something else.
In time i will write about this .
I understood myself only after destroying myself and only in the process of fixing myself did i finally understand who i was inside.
I travel a lot across North America and the Middle East and to Europe and Spain .
People ask me all the time what are you looking for?
These days i am apt to say ,
“I am looking for nothing ,i have already found it.”
But i must say the journey is never really over . I like the journey . I do it though with an awareness.
.Every new year,every day ,every moment is a letting go of the old and a rebirth of the new.
This text or passage is from the Tibetan Book of the Dead ,a book i first read at 16 when i was living in my first hippie commune back in Montreal .
It is a wonderful guide for moving through the process of death and rebirth and awakening to our true nature. This is intended to be read for someone who recently died and i sought it out when my mother died. It can also be read in the midst of a divorce which i returned to it again a few years ago …I offer it here to you if you are going through any period of grief or hopelessness.
A large part of this became clear to me when i went on my journey of recent years.
“Remember the clear light,the pure clear light from which everything in the universe comes,to which everything in the universe returns. The original nature of your own mind,the natural state of the universe unmanifest. Let go into the clear light .
Trust it,merge with it.It is your own true nature,it is home.
The visions you express exist within your consciousness. The forms they take are determined by your past attachments,your past desires,your past fears ,your past karma.These visions have no reality outside of your own consciousness.No matter how frightening some of them might seem,they cannot hurt you.
Let them pass through your consciousness. They will all pass in time.No need to become involved with them,no need to be attracted to the beautiful visions,no need to be repulsed by the frightening ones,no need to be attached to them at all.
Just let them pass.If you become involved with these visions you may wander for a long time confused. So let them pass through your consciousness like clouds passing through an empty sky
.Fundamentally they have no more reality than this.If you become frightened or confused ,you can always call on any luminous being whom you trust for protection and guidance.
Remember these teachings,remember the clear light,the pure bright shining light of your own nature.
It is deathless.When you can look at the visions you experience and recognize they re composed of the same clear light as everything else in the universe you will be liberated.
No matter or how far you wander the light is only a split second ,a half breath away.It is never too late to recognize the clear light.”
Life is as always about beginnings and endings.
Finishing your business ,making peace with that,learning the lessons,readying yourself for the next lesson disguised as a beginning.
We set our hearts in motion,we offer the softness up to the gods,be gentle we plead or else as i now say tear me apart ,i can take it ,i can beast it back and walk away fairly complete.
I have been there before.
I know the warrior ways
To every end is a beginning.
That much i know.
And so it goes.