Sick and Disgusted with Trump .Ready to leave the Country ???

Jonathon Lipsin your Canadian Connection !!!!
13315266_10153444970612583_1555148499913668790_n 598f9eb8f085f2b004c324710844fcf6 800px-schwartz_smoked_meat_montreal montreal-que-october-26-2011-fresh-bagels-on-sale-at
Consider Canada !!!
But first you must be educated.
Canada is not America even though we look like you.
I am offering a course to all Americans considering immigration to Canada
So for all those people who are planning to move to Canada because of the recent election i am offering my services.
An hour class with me tutoring you on all things Canadian.
We will carefully explore the meaning of saying eh? after every statement and where to properly insert that in a conversation.
I will teach you Montreal swear words like Tabernac and Colis and their religious meanings ..
Also we will discuss celcius vs farenheit.30 degrees is hot!
We will discuss Montreal bagels vs NY ones ( not all bagels are born alike) and smoked meat vs pastrami .
I will tell you about the delicacy known as beaver balls .It tastes better with maple syrup.
I will teach you about poutine (no it is not a French Canadian whore)
If you are immigrating to Toronto i will teach you how to be cold and seemingly guarded and not talk to anyone in cafes (it’s alls bout boundaries) as opposed to Montreal which is more free spirited.
Toronto is about money and Montreal is about quality of life .This is important to know.
Also i will teach you about Canadian music like Leonard Cohen and Gordon Lightfoot ,Joni and Neil Young.
We will read chapters from Mordechai Richler’s books
We will discuss the fact that Canadians do not lock their doors because it is so safe
We will also go on a hike to learn to hug trees.
We will also discuss the layers of clothes you will have to wear in the face of 40 below zero temps.
Also get used to buying your alcohol from a government owned store.
Also i will give tips on not to eat the yellow snow.
I am offering these courses at 150 dollars .
in American dollars please

, ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Powered by WordPress. Designed by Woo Themes